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Anonymous Critic


MASH: No more

November 22, 2006

20061122_mash_320x240.jpg

This may be the wrong time to say this, due to the untimely death of Robert Altman, but I can’t watch any more episodes of M*A*S*H.

It’s a show that still holds the honor of having the most-watched series finale of all time. But here’s a little known rumor that I’m going to continue to spread about the Nielsen families. We hear a lot of speculation in the TV circuit about the ratings system’s flaws back in the day.

And "MASH" is supposed to be the prime example.

In a time when television was just beginning to explore it’s political side, or “TV that means something” – "MASH" was doing a show about war. And though many of the Neilsen families weren’t watching it, (because let’s be honest, it’s just not that funny) a lot of them were writing into their "watching journals" that they were. Hence the huge ratings. This is, let’s be clear, just a rumor we’ve heard a few times. And there’s no real way to be sure. But boy, that makes sense.

And for a show about war – that laugh-track! And that guy in that dress! It’s on every time a baseball game is rained out I have to sit there, slogging my way through another episode where basically this happens:

1.) Someone gets in trouble because they aren’t taking the war seriously enough. Usually the trouble starts with a drunken clown-doctor with a clever nickname who is called a slacker by the uptight guy, or the blonde woman who’s supposed to be mannish.

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It's Greek To Me: The Paternity Test

November 17, 2006

20061117_povich_320x240.jpgIn an age of manipulated, polished reality television where even the most boring folk seem positively witty, and the most benign situations appear action packed, I long for the old days. The simplicity of unfettered, unedited emotion, the kind that can't be doctored in post-production.

These days I can only find drama like that in one place: in the pure horror of the Paternity Test a la "Maury Povich." It is gruesome, and yet I cannot resist. Call it television rubbernecking.

It's a modern day Greek tragedy in two minute segments, complete with the wronged ladies splaying themselves on the ground in a pool of tears -- microphone packs be damned -- as the blood-thirsty spectators cheer from the amphitheater seats.

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Anonymous Critic Archive


Television Without Pity | Television Without Pity

Who's That Girl?

Survivor

People may still not be able to spell or pronounce her name, but at least Parvati's got a cool million bucks in her pocket. Though we're still baffled about how it happened.

Mommy Dearest

Desperate Housewives

On Mother's Day, the Wisteria Lane women try to be more endearing, but they fail miserably.

Closer to God

Battlestar Galactica

Madame President starts to believe in Baltar's one deity theory. Must be the drugs.

Can You Keep a Secret?

Gossip Girl

Before more drama is unveiled tonight, check out our in-depth recap of last week's shockingly delicious episode.

Summer Movies

Movies Without Pity

Sex and the City hits the big screen, but are these girls more fun than some of the other blockbusters that are flying into the theater?

Relativity

Brothers & Sisters

Rebecca's not a Walker, which makes her making out with Justin only slightly less icky, but now there might be another sibling in the mix. Ugh.

Recaps, Weecaps, Recaplets and More

Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives

Mother-Effer's Day

{ Weecap }

The holiday for mothers becomes a showcase for bad behavior: putdowns, threats, blackmail, deceit, and violence. Go, Hallmark!

Read More

Survivor

Survivor

Fans vs. Favorites Reunion

{ Recaplet }

The cast is back and they are out to get Probst.

Read More

Survivor

Survivor

Stir the Pot

{ Recaplet }

The winner of the 16th season is crowned, after yet another twist.

Read More

Smallville

Smallville

'Torso,' They Say

{ Recap }

Lex and Clark both get sliced up about the chest in a crazy game of Kryptonian symbol body art. Lex wins, though, because he finds the last piece of the puzzle before he finds Clark's secret. The chest stabbing was worth it!

Read More

Brothers and Sisters

Brothers and Sisters

Prior Commitments

{ Recaplet }

Another secret sibling? Are you kidding? How much action did William Walker get on the side anyway?

Read More

House

House

Cuddy's Living Nightmare

{ Recap }

House diagnoses his favorite soap star from afar with a brain tumor and then kidnaps him to treat it -- all while PPTH is being inspected by the accreditation committee.

Read More

Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl

When You Were A Fever

{ Recap }

The van der Woodsens finally spill their giant secrets, and everybody goes crazy about it; in other news, the Humphreys still have poor judgment in most areas.

Read More

Step It Up and Dance

Step It Up and Dance

Don't Write Checks Your Ass Can't Cash

{ Recaplet }

Michael complains his way to elimination.

Read More

Ugly Betty

Ugly Betty

...Baby One More Time

{ Weecap }

While Hilda makes eyes with (and cuts ears off of) Justin's gym teacher, Daniel finds redemption through work, Christina learns the genesis of the demon spawn growing inside her, and Betty tries to befriend Charlie. Charlie repays her for this gesture by giving birth in Betty's living room.

Read More

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