September, 2006 »

Yes, Dear

May 19, 2006

More “Yes, Dear?” No, thank you. And finally, it's over.

When I was a kid, I watched “Guts” on Nickelodeon. I enjoyed watching other kids compete in various athletic challenges while I invariably sat or lay down on my sofa, probably with some sort of high-sodium snack. “Guts” was hosted by Mike O’Malley, a slightly pudgy thirtysomething who was able to make the plastic “Crag” the kids had to climb seem vaguely akin to climbing Mt. Everest in 30 below temperature with nothing but a slinky and a pencil.

This, it seems, might have been Mr. O’Malley’s greatest talent. Since then, he has appeared in numerous failed atrocities such as “Life with Roger,” “The Mike O’Malley Show” and “Yes, Dear.” Well, I would like to say that “Yes, Dear” is a failure, but against all conceivable odds, it seems to be chugging along in its sixth season. Season SIX. And it’s in syndication.

Let me begin by trying to say something good about this show. For example, the producers had the presence of mind not to include Mr. O’Malley’s name in the actual title. And there’s an aptly placed comma in there as well.

And now on to the onslaught. Where do the punchlines, ok proposed punchlines, of this “comedy” come from? It’s a simple formula really:
1) If you put an uptight person and a laid-back person together, hilarity will ensue.
Let me just say that Neil Simon invented this formula, he did it way better, and about forty years earlier. So just let it be.
2) Watching clueless men and their substantially smarter wives is really funny.
Wouldn’t it be better/easier on the legal fees if we just made middle-class white men the butt of all our jokes? And the answer is, sure, if better means tired, boring and monotonous.
3) Cute kids are eminently watchable.
See Olivia from “The Cosby Show,” Cousin Oliver from “The Brady Bunch,” and Andy from “Family Ties:” each show’s last dying, ungraceful gasp.

And now it seems that CBS has caught on, as the show quietly met its end this year. No big finale. (Or did I miss it?) No series recap and ringing of the bell at the stock market. It's just not on CBS's fall slate. Dear god, thank you. --Sarv Taghavian